Backwards 2015



Where Am I Going

Feels like I’m going backwards

Something’s got a hold of me

In a new place with the same feelings

When I’m hurt I go back to who and what I know

The same people who have been there for years

That shouldn’t be a bad thing

I been trying to change for years

Still feel the same

In and out of many relationships

Still love the same man

Am I going backwards?

Is it just me?

I should have the same friends

Love the same man

Always be me

What do I want to change?

My productivity and status in society

The people I love have nothing to do with that

I got my associates and assholes

Accepted in a four year University

Been living on my own for years

Hold my own

Pay for my own consequences

Celebrate my accomplishments

Seem to be going somewhere

Just not getting there fast enough

I’m on a treadmill running in the same spot

Trying to hold on to everything I got

While the world turn upside down

And spin backwards

a year later

So it’s been a year since I moved to N.Y. I been through Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and the Bronx
Got married, divorced, found a new boo a week later and broke up with him this morning
Among all the other troubles in my life this year has been a ride I hope I soon forget
I can’t think of anything worth remembering
A couple of times I almost lost my mind
I almost lost hope, some days I didn’t want to go on lost in depression and confused with anxiety
Then I realized the pain is inside
I can still hold my head high and smile
My faith is still strong, my health is excellent, and I’m full of love no matter how much it hurts
I’m glad that I only got a sneak peak of HELL and didn’t fall all the way in


Many professors come and go, some we always remember
What we take with us outside the classroom makes the difference
Years will pass and the classroom will be the same
The faces change as the professor age
What we take with us outside the classroom makes the difference
The voice of a good professor never leaves your heart
The memories of a good class are hard to fade
What we take with us outside the classroom makes the difference
It takes a strong individual to overcome the odds
To become a professor and teach a class
What we take with us outside the classroom makes the difference

Something about the E train

There’s something bout the E train that turns my stomach. My chest feel hot and bothered like I want to throw up. I want to rip off all my clothes and jump in a pool. Something about the E train makes me sick every time. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the commute, maybe it’s the atmosphere, maybe it’s just a bad vibe. I always enjoyed traveling and learning new cities, but there’s something about the E train that makes want to stay in bed. Unless today’s just not my day. Tomorrow maybe better. I just have to get use to a longer commute. ..

“im a BIG kid now”

Celebrating a week of sobriety.
Working toward stabilty.
Registering for next semester tomorrow.
Staying out of trouble.
Im warm, loving and kind to others.
Growing stronger and better.
In love with the Lord.
Im done playing with my life.
Looking at my future.
Celebrating my gifts.
Giving all my love.
Accepting where im at today
And happy to share this experience.
Im a big kid now…

Aquill Mae

Aquill Mae
10 hours ago ·
Fresh out the bullpen
First time locked up in N.Y.
For two warrants,
time served. I’m hungry
Stinking and miss my bae
He told me they was watching us
Guess I had to test the water

At least my warrants cleared..

Aquill Mae
Feb 27 at 8:59pm ·
Running three days without a shower
Worn and spoiled, only 2days sober
Restless and tired, but my eyes wont lemme sleep
Too anxious to wake up tomorrow, too spoiled to settle with less

Dayum brain, why can’t you stop thinking about a blunt
Shutup, lemme sleep
Give me a sweet dream like the warmth of a lover’s kiss
Or a hug from my mom

I barely got any sleep last night, my body is worn out
And my brains overloaded. It’s way past my bedtime and it ain’t even nine yet