it was better behind bars
I’m never alone and always someone to talk to there. I took some time away from all I know to find something better and found the worst. Thought a geographic change would help, but I’m more lonely and depressed than ever now. I should have just stayed homeless on my girlfriend’s floor with all her kids jumping on top of my head, since that’s the only future I saw for myself in NJ. A lonely deadbeat father with no kids. My peers think I’m retarded, my family think I’m crazy, and I feel stupid. Like on the edge of throwing my life away. For real, fuck a bipolar shzio who give a fuck, fake ass dumb ass pill not going to make my life better. Breaking my phone and buying a new one is not going to change my contact list. TBH, I’m MAD AS HELL I CANT TURN THIS HEAT OFF, CANT BREATHE, CANT SLEEP AND LAYING ON THE FLOOR TRYING TO COOL OFF. ITS HOT AS HELL OUTSIDE AND THE HEAT BLASTING IN HERE. WTF, WTF ,WTF IM BOUT TO GO RUN THE STREETS SINCE I CANT SLEEP AND MY APT UNCOMFORTABLY HOT AS FUCKING HELL
If I don’t let my frustrations out they will pile and get much worse. I can’t fix something if I don’t know what’s wrong with it…..
#safetyfirst #accountability #acknowledgement