Unspoken Word – Mental Incarceration

I wish I had something good to write about
And life for me was great, but
I go to bed unhappy and wake up depressed
I dont want to eat breakfast, cuz
I got used to running on an empty stomach
I must be a good loser, cuz
I never won nothing
Never been happy, never had a good morning
I just try not to complain
A good attitude and a smile
doesnt make my sadness go away

Just throwing the blanket over my face
And going back to sleep
Is the highlight of my day
The sun hitting my face
While the world moves around me
Makes me no never mind
When I close my eyes
Life’s inconsistencies disappear
And I only see what I want to see
There’s no use in fighting it,
No need to walk around depressed
No one to talk to to make it better
Just another day on the wrong side of the bed
Maybe tomorrow will be better.

After another nap, a cigarette
And some left over brunch
I pick up a book I got from
The little Asian girls yesterday
By Pastor Ock Soo Park
“The Power of Samson”
I’ve arrested myself in this small room
Still grieving my losses
Punishing myself with memories
Of spring break, still unprepared for class
But right now none of that matters
Cuz im consumed by this book in my hand
I shut myself off from television and facebook

My Facebook is in my eyes, not the internet
The things I expose about myself
Make people who know me wish they didn’t
The people I see everyday
Don’t know what im posting online
The people online know too much
The people who matter don’t know enough
I found a pal who understands my mental instability
His name is Jesus


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